Never Regret Something That Once Made You Smile

As I've gotten older, I think I have followed the pattern many others have followed: I've tried to "mellow," and to some extent I have succeeded. Unlike others my age, given my circumstances, I may have held on to a few of the more liberal tendencies longer than have my contemporaries, but in any case I have made it an effort to learn, to grow, even if it is not always linear. To that extent, I have cut back on my drinking in recent years: I never let alcohol get too out of control, I've never been arrested or faced a DUI or anything of that nature, yet in years gone by I have to admit, I could put down a few and come back for more. As I have aged, my alcohol consumption has gone down a bit, and most likely will continue to diminish. So what that means is that when I do choose to drink, there is a bit more meaning behind it than when I was a youngster.

Tonight, I had a few. I did not get plowed, I did not drive, but I did feel relaxed when I decided to call it quits and go back to my hotel room (a quaint cottage in Oregon off of Highway 58, The Cascade Motel). The bar was a dive bar by any account, young Oregonians playing pool and music and smoking inside (yes, evidently that is still allowed in parts of the US). I was about to leave, when I noticed a number of coasters tacked to the wall behind me, all of which had various words of wisdom penned to them. Some were absurd, some less than what I would like to post here, but one stood out for me:

"Never Regret Something That Once Made You Smile"

I'm sorry that I could not read the author's name, yet I have to admit it struck me nonetheless. "Never regret something that once made you smile." How simple, yet how beautiful. How many times have we done something we enjoyed, something that made us feel happy, something that made us feel connected with the world or with another person, only to be told later that we should regret what we have done? How many times has religion, or friends, or some notion of "ethics" told us after the fact that what we did was remiss, regrettable, wrong?

I'm not proud of every decision I have made in my life. Like all human beings, there are things in my past which are checkered, things which would not stand up as G-rated in Disney court, mistakes I have made, yet what does that matter? I can truly say that in my entire life, I have never forced anybody in to anything he/she did not want to do, and with that in mind, why should I regret something I have done in the past? Why should I regret something that in the moment was right for both of us?

People will judge us--me in this case--by their own standards. I had two professionals this last year who felt they were anointed by God himself to decide what was right or wrong, yet all I can say to that is rubbish. (Actually, my choice of words is stronger, though again, as I get older, I regret when I must choose profanity to express my point.) Why do others feel they have a right to judge what happens in an individual's life or in his heart?

I've done some things in my past that made me smile and yet which, if I were to explain them here, would not sound G-rated. So what? I can honestly say that I have never done anything against another's will, and with that in mind, I'll choose not to regret those things that have made me smile.