Erding and Therme Erding

Erding and Therme Erding

Quick summary on Therme Erding: One of the main things I wanted to visit Therme Erding was to see if it was as I remembered it from nearly three years ago. Surprisingly it was as I recalled, and even more surprisingly at this point I have gotten so used to Germans and their attitude towards nudity that I was a bit underwhelmed with it; I can't believe I am saying this, but after just a short period of "refamiliarization," I became bored with the naked young German women. Yes, after a short time, I had seen so many beautiful young naked German women that I no longer seemed to notice, and if I did want titillation, then I went to the swimsuit required part of the park, where leaving that little bit to the imagination was actually more erotic than knowing it all. I'm not at all adverse to nudity, but quite the contrary I think the Europeans really do understand that it is something adults can handle. More of an elaboration below.

The hotel was nothing special either way. I had a true single room (i.e., single bed, one towel, one packet of coffee), albeit large enough they could have made it a double. The sloped ceiling was odd, in that over half the floor space was unusable as I would run my head into the roof! The sauna downstairs was boring to the point I did not even use it, and the bar was marginal; a young dark-haired bartender named "Kim" worked it, and on the third and final night, when it was slow and quiet, she actually befriended me a bit, plus by this time I felt a bit more comfortable using (and stumbling with) my German. One complaint is that though the hotel dubs itself as an "airport" hotel, and the entire place is in an airport theme, their Best Western logoed airport shuttle costs 28 Euros, as opposed to the 32 Euros I paid for a private Mercedes taxi. I would expect a self-proclaimed airport hotel to offer very cheap, if not free, service to the airport. Then again, the Germans do seem to know how to milk an extra Euro out of everything: Therme Erding charged me 1.10 Euros (about $1.50) for ice on top of the cost of my bottled water. (Arghh, ice still seems to be a commodity Europe just cannot understand.)

As is usual, my German was very poor the first day, then started getting progressively better as I felt more comfortable and my ear came back. Unfortunately, I was here for less than 72 hours, so just as I felt a bit of confidence, it was time to leave.

In a little more detail, Theme Erding is a spa, unlike anything in the United States. This is a huge "amusement park" like setting, about 45 minutes outside of Munich proper (which is why I opted to stay in the small town just a 10 minute walk away). The spa consists of three more or less distinct parts:
▪ Water-slide area for youngsters
▪ Mixed use sauna, spa and pools for all ages
▪ The sauna are, for adults (which in Germany means 16 and older) since it is "Textilfrei."

I've not actually seen the water-slide area since it is for families with small children. It looks very much like something you would find in the US, with plastic type slides for the youngsters and their families.

The mixed use area has a little bit of everything, and is open for people of all ages. Swimsuits are required (no nudity allowed), and you can take your choice of dry saunas, wet saunas, mineral/calcium/salt pools, and plain water pools. This in itself is not like anything I have ever found in the US, and just this area alone would make for a full day.

The real draw for me, however, is the more regal sauna area, open to 16 years old and up since it is nudity required (textile-free). Note that this is not the same as clothing optional, but instead this means you must disrobe and enjoy the facilities in the buff. OK, technically when you are walking about you are supposed to wear a robe or a towel, but this is generally not enforced except for in the restaurants. When in the saunas or the pools, however, you are required to be naked, with the stipulation that in the saunas you need to sit on a towel for hygienic reasons. The best way I can describe this is regal: There is an elegance and classiness about it that is palatial, elegant, luxurious. The nudity, rather than weedy, really does at some point reduce the sexual tension. It's difficult to describe for Americans, but after the initial few moments, walking around and seeing others, of both genders, in the buff is far less titillating than wearing a swimsuit. In a swimsuit, even the most revealing string bikinis that I find so nice on a curvy MILF, there is still a mystique, an unknown, about exactly what is underneath. Granted, you have a pretty good idea of what is there, but the exact details are still a bit of a mystery, so close but out of reach. Take the suit off, however, and all doubt is gone.

For the most part you walk into one of the two dozen or so differently themed saunas and sit at your leisure, with temperatures from about 50 Celsius up to 80 Celsius, possibly hotter. In a few of them, however, they occasionally offer "Aufgass" which is a short (10 minute or so) period when a guide comes in, cranks up the heat, and dumps water on the stones to increase the humidity. Most of these also feature some quirk, such as the guide providing you with various lotions or solutions to smear on your body: Salt, ice, honey, yogurt with strawberries, even chocolate mousse. In one case, they actually bake bread in the oven while you sit in the room, and afterwards you are offered the carbs for your patience. In the 70 Celsius range and hotter, this can be either enjoyable or unbearable, depending on your physical condition and other things. For the most part, I was able to sit through even the hottest Aufgass, save for one time on the last day when I had to bail.